This article is brought to you by the St. Hubert Domestic Violence Ministry. Do you wish to join this ministry? Our next meeting February 1
st at 7:00 PM in the Bernardin Room located on the second floor of the Ministry Center. If you can’t make this meeting, but would still like to get involved, for more information, please contact the Ministry Coordinator at
ministryinfo@sainthubert.org
Myths Concerning Abuse In The Home PART IV
Myth: The survivor did something to provoke the violence.
Fact: No one deserves to be beaten, battered, threatened or in any way victimized by violence. Batterers will rarely admit that they are the cause of the problem. In fact, putting the blame for the violence on the survivor is a way to manipulate the survivor and other people. Batterers will tell the survivor, "You made me mad" or "You made me jealous" or will try to shift the burden by saying "Everyone acts like that." Most survivors try to placate and please their abusive partners in order to deescalate the violence. The batterer chooses to abuse, and bears full responsibility for the violence.
Myth: Most batterers simply lose control during violent incidents and do not know what they are doing.
Fact: If batterers were truly out of control, as many claim to be during violent incidents, there would be many more domestic violence homicides. In fact, many batterers do "control" their violence, abusing their victims in less visible places on their bodies, such as under the hairline or on the torso. Furthermore, researchers have found that domestic violence often occurs in cycles, and every episode is preceded by a predictable, repeated pattern of behavior and decisions made by the batterer.
If you or someone you know is being abused, seek help today. In an emergency, please dial 911.
For all other help, please call: Illinois Statewide Domestic Violence Helpline
877 TO END DV (
877-863-6338),
877-863-6339 TTY or call WINGS 24-hour hotline
847-221-5680.